#chris: *infodumps*

[meyerlansky]

[buckley-diaztruther]

night at the museum au where eddie is the new night guard who refuses to believe in the supernstural and buck is the hot but annoying *something* exhibit who hates eddie on sight for being so sexily competent and a non-believer. and the rest of the 118 family are various other staff and/or exhibits watching them circle each other with exasperated fondness

[marshmellowtea]

oh my god wait. he'd never do this of his own volition but streamer chris would be so actually funny

[illeniram]

gone.

[yeah-alright-brill]

Ok OK OK so this is something I've wanted to show off for a while....

Heeheee OK so this is the earliest piece of visual Chrishaz fan-media I can find, coming to us preserved from The Railway Arms fan forum via the Wayback Machine from 13/06/2008!! (Just under 3 months after series 1 ended) Original post:

Credit of course to the owner, Queenof7oaks and the creator CarrotLucky 13 (and Tash for helping get it on there!) For context, the thread is a vote about which LoM/A2A het ship is the best. Chrishaz came last because the world is sick and twisted, Galex and Sannie tied. Oh and the user's profile picture is also Chrishaz themed, being a gif on the storage room scene from 1×5. (You can just about make out Shaz having a feel of Chris' arse in this screenshot) so between that, and the banner, and the voting I think it's safe to say queenof7oaks was a chrishaz shipper lol. I wonder where they are now, I guess they're probably, like, middle aged now. It's cool that this tiny ship has touched people across time and Internet space to post their silly painfully earnest little edits. Unfortunately, the "Chris and Shaz" discussion thread was one of the ones what wasn't archived by the Wayback Machine, which is such a massive shame. A place just for Chrishaz would have been really cool to see because usually you have to wade through a sea of Galex to find anything. Unfortunately, the Ashes only Luigi's forum was even less lucky and is completely lost to time. The thought of there being Chrishaz trapped on there that's forever lost hurts my heart.

[actuallyrandompersondaily]

"What are you reading?" Buck asked, dropping himself down on the couch right next to Eddie.

"It's just that space book Chris brought home a few days ago," Eddie replied, angling the book so Eddie could check the title. "Figured I should get a start on it if I want any chance of understanding what you two are talking about any time soon."

Buck grinned at that, knocking their shoulders together playfully.

"I'd apologise, but I'd be lying. He's so enthusiastic about this stuff, I can barely keep up myself."

"Maybe it's you're turn to be hopelessly lost when he starts infodumping about it all this time, then," Eddie teased, elbowing him back. "I can give you some help keeping up if you need it. Private tutoring. As long as you can afford it, of course."

Buck smirked at that, hooking an arm around Eddie's waist to toy with the hem of his shirt.

"I'm sure that we can come up with a satisfactory agreement somehow, Mr. Diaz," he murmured, voice low, and Eddie's eyes darkened at the tone.

"I'm sure we can, Mr. Diaz," he replied, leaning in slowly. "Though I do require a deposit first. For security reasons, you know?"

"Of course," Buck said, leaning in to close that final distance between the two of them when—

"You'd think that after almost a decade of working here they'd remember that the rest of us exist," Hen said from where she was standing in the doorway, and Chimney groaned behind her.

"Are they being gross on the couch again? I just updated the counter on the white board."

Eddie moved to pull away, laughing as he did so, but not before Buck darted in to brush a kiss against his lips.

"If Chim's updating the whiteboard I'm getting at least one kiss out if it," he said, shrugging unrepentantly at Hen's raised eyebrow. "I can do worse if you want. I'm not ashamed to love my husband."

"Trust me, Buck. No one has ever or will ever think that you're ashamed of Eddie. Most people would probably agree that you could do with a little more shame, in fact, just for when you're in public. Or in front of your poor brother in law."

Buck hummed consideringly at that, raising a questioning eyebrow at Eddie. After receiving a quick nod in response he grinned, leaning in to kiss Eddie deep and slow. They savoured it for a few moments, drifting into lingering pecks before fully disconnecting their lips.

"No, I think I'm good with my shame levels," Buck declared, as if that had only just been decided.

From the doorway came Chim's groan, followed by footsteps and the sounds of a whiteboard being erased and re-written.

"Do you think he's going to eventually realise that the counter just encourages us?" Eddie asked, and Buck shrugged.

"I'll be embarrassingly in love with you either way, so I don't think it really matters."

[dollypopup]

#uh. Milo. from YouTube?#miniminuteman @paginanilol

hell yeah.

also, this dude

"in modern times, Colin would be a travel influencer" "in modern times, Colin would be unemployed living off a trust fund" "in modern times, Colin would be-"

In modern times, Colin is an archeologist with a niche youtube channel that blew up suddenly because he released a 5 part rant series about how the Ancient Apocalypse show is bullshit and they should feel bad, whilst he unicycled his way across Eurasia trying to write the thesis he is so incredibly insecure about to finally graduate and get his masters degree whilst he fills his downtime writing and updating a smutty romance on his phone on AO3 and someone named Lady_Whistledown, who writes the most popular stories that he also loves to read, keeps commenting for him to please please please please please publish it

[onebizarrekai]

I swear the jackson family is in a constant state of being at risk of plot holes or misspeaks. it took me this long to realize as well that season 1 charlie said "freddie was a foster child" and then season 2 charlie said "freddie lived with his mom" one of these days every single mishap leftover from utmv-ibvs will mend itself and the story will somehow become congruous

(in the midst of writing this post) NO I FOUND MORE THEY'RE GETTING WORSE

guys you have no idea. there was this horrific timeline mistake in my notes a few years ago that somehow completely wrecked the jackson chronology for a while and I thought it was safe because it hadn't made it into the story yet but IT DID. what do you MEAN "they wanted to live closer to their mom when they moved to foxfield" THEY WERE STILL MARRIED AT THE TIME!!!! CHRIS WAS LIKE 2 YEARS OLD!!!

CHARLIE. DO BETTER. YOU'RE NOT THAT OLD

next agenda: literally fix that charlie infodump chapter as quickly as possible because oh my fucking god how did this happen

edit: ok I think I fixed it. it didn't actually take that much fixing but it felt like a lot

[originalcrime]

Buck and Chris spending a quiet afternoon at the library reading and occasionally infodumping at each other

meanwhile Jee is having the time of her life hollering at the top of her tiny lungs at a monster truck rally with Uncles Tommy and Eddie

[lestatslestits]

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you look at the illustrations by Grahame Baker-Smith and especially Chris Dunn. Both give Ratty a nice brown color and draw him with the rounder face/body of a water vole.

Grahame Baker-Smith:

Chris Dunn:

I also recommend you avoid Robert Ingpen, whose illustrations are beautiful but who drew the most “ratlike” Ratty I’ve ever seen

confession time I have a dumb pet peeve when artists make ratty grey/give him features that are too land rat-ish. he is a water rat/vole, they have a very distinct look, this doesnt matter in the slightest I'm just insane

[buddieroommates]

no but literally!! none of buck's girlfriends ever let him be the babbling soft earnest man he is. none of them ever found it endearing and sweet and then tommy TOMMY smiles as buck babbles and then FLIRTS with him. tommy clocks buck's anxiety!! tommy likes him because he's a weird little guy and would probably let him infodump on whatever's the new thing buck and chris are reading about. im going to go bury my head in the ground like an ostrich

YESYEYSTEYSYEYS I'm sorry but NONE of his girlfriends have treated him with such softness and that's what he NEEDS it's what he DESERVES TOMMY KINARD HAND IN MARRIAGE!!!!!!

[meowbert-whiskers]

Weird ass Resident Evil head cannons because my brain is too silly

Wesker 100% got bullied by Chris and Jill when he was working with S. T. A. R. S. and cried at least once from it.

The moment Ashely got home she started crying to emo nightcore music while downing an entire pack of shredded cheddar cheese.

Luis definitely grabbed Leon's ass at least once whenever he bent down, then got the same treatment from Leon.

Leon purposefully coughs very dramatically in front of people who smoke to make them feel bad.

Chris has frequent nightmares about marrying Jill just for her to turn out to be Wesker in disguise. Every single time he has that nightmare he wakes up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down his face like he just saw the most horrifying thing know to man.

Rebecca has a penis straw some where in her house. It was a gift from Jill.

Wesker is horribly afraid of horses. Any time he sees a horse he starts running away as fast as he can. One time a horse smiled at him and he started screaming in terror.

The only reason Claire wears a ponytail is because one time when she was younger she went to a public pool with Chris and got her hair stuck in one of the drains and had to get a short hair cut. She was bullied about it for years by Chris.

Sherry is obsessed with Pokemon, especially when Leon first started working with the government since he got a bunch of money, and had a Pokemon themed bedroom. Her favourite Pokemon is Sylveon. Leon's is Pikachu because he's a dumb idiot who never saw the appeal and just wanted to make Sherry happy.

William was incredibly nerdy to the point where Annette would sometimes tape his mouth shut while they worked or else her infodump about each way to use a syringe/suture needle/any sort of medical shit they had to use. Albert didn't mind it when he rambled, though.

Chris once pranked Albert by switching his artificial sugars for his coffee with salt and hiding laxatives in it as well. Albert has never forgave him.

Jill once smacked Chris so hard he fell over and folded like an omelette. His spine has never recovered.

Leon was 100% a fan of Oingo Boingo and Weird Al. I will not explain any further.

Ada gets her nails done every other month by the same nail tech. Rebecca is secretly the nail tech.

Leon once accidentally sat on one of Sherry's Plush Charizards and got screamed at for an hour. Sherry said that she didn't want his "butt cooties" on her dragon.

Ashley loves cheese. Specifically brie.

Leon sometimes stares outside of the windows in his home while zoning out and standing completely straight. He also falls asleep like that with his eyes open. Chris will sometimes join him in watching the outside except he stands like a dad and does that thing where he has some sort of nut in his hands and shakes them around before eating them.

Chris wants to have kids, more specifically a daughter, so when Leon was on missions and Claire had to babysit her, he'd try to bond with Sherry. Sherry was horribly afraid of him and would cry if she was picked up by him.

Chris once smacked Wesker so hard his glasses went flying off. Wesker immediately got on the floor and started searching for them Velma style.

Leon unironicaly goes "YEOWCH!" whenever he gets hurt.

In the helicopter, Carlos slung his arm around Jill to try and be hot. It backfired once he realized Jill was both sleeping and drooling all over his arm. Ew.

Leon coughs like an old man on hospice.

Wesker sneezes like a kitten, especially during serious situations. He goes, "I'LL FUCKING END YOU-Achoo! (｡>﹏<｡)"

William once mistook Albert for Anette when he was incredibly tired and kissed Wesker on the lips. Neither were complaining.

This is so fucking dumb but please listen to my insane ramblings. PLEASE.

[destinationtrekk]

how would Wesker react to a reader that's literally the most chill and easy-going person ever?

Wesker would be infodumping about his plan and Reader's just like "yeah pop off king lol" Reader gladly listens intently

before re5: honestly he hates it at first. he's used to people either respecting and fearing him (umbrella lab assistants for example) who take his word as gospel, OR people like chris and ada who listen carefully but ultimately disagree or even refute what he says.

so when you casually drop by the lab one day to bring him lunch and ask what he's up to, he is very excited to explain his latest project with a little >:3 expecting a big ole pat on the head.

all you say after listening intently is "awh that sounds fun, honey. i have to go run errands."

he is dumbfounded. he stares after you when you drop a kiss on his head and leave without much else. where's his applause? his bravado? why aren't you even surprised this is his deadliest virus yet? it really irks him and he doesn't even know how to bring it up to you (you've been making him practice communication and emotional vulnerability - he hates that too)

after re5: he actually really really really appreciates it. after literally dying and being resurrected and now living with permanent scars of his disastrous failures in his life's work, he doesn't think he even deserves the praise he once craved. i think after uroboros he struggles with serious self-doubt and other mental issues because, yeah he knew project w meant he was already a fraud, but now he's just a washed up failure too. there's no way you become a b.o.w. and burn up in a volcano and come back normal lmfao

your easy-going and calm nature is exactly what he needs. you listen carefully, and you support him quietly, but you never ask more than he's willing to give. you never go over the top in trying to please him or feed his ego - in fact sometimes you even tell him he's being silly and he needs to take it down a notch.

it's now when he realizes how much he really needs you - has needed someone like you, his entire life - to balance out his ego and wild dreams. you're so relaxed and easy going that talking to you feels like a breath of fresh air, and he aches for nothing after a long day except to just sit next to you and speak - have a genuine conversation - about his day.

[summers-salt]

Your reply is so kind! 😭 Thank you so much!

This isn't strictly relevant to the post, but I wanted to share because it's so interesting: there have also been some developments concerning Chris's exact cause of death!

Initially they thought it was starvation—and it was—but it's now believed that he was also gradually poisoned by the wild potato seeds he foraged, rendering him increasingly unable to continue hunting and gathering (much less hike out of the area). His field guide contained no warnings about the seeds because they were not known to be dangerous at the time. In fact, Chris's death was the very catalyst that led researchers to formally recognize the seeds of Hedysarum alpinum as dangerous!

Near the end of his life, Chris speculated in his journal that the potato seeds were the cause of his weakness and impending death. Haunted by this journal entry, Krakauer facilitated decades of research into the matter. It was only revealed in 2015 that the seeds Chris ate are typically harmless to humans (in trace amounts), but highly toxic to those whose bodies are under extreme stress, namely malnutrition.

So yes, Chris McCandless died of starvation—but considering his body was found just two weeks later, it's hard to understate the role these seeds likely played in his death. Krakauer, for his part, is confident that Chris would have been found alive if he hadn't eaten them.

The matter is briefly touched on in the links above, but if you're interested, you can read the full story from NPR or the New Yorker.

ethical true crime (listening to stories about rich idiots who believe they can solo backpack incredibly dangerous places and ignore all the local's warnings to turn around)

[55sturn]

hcs for matt & a bubbly talkative gf?

omg this would be me and matt if i was a matt girl LMFAO

but he is the most attentive listener, like he is hanging onto every word you speak.

having talkative and bubbly brothers has prepared him for a relationship with you, he would never ever be frustrated with you like he is with nick and chris, because he actually cares for everything you have to say.

your bubbly personality is infectious and rubs off on him, officially bringing an end to his tough guy persona, he can’t help but be giggly and smiley when you’re around.

you bring him out of his shell !! he’s not fully out but he’s a lot more talkative and interactive in conversations because of you, you bring out his dorky and infodumping side and he loves you for it because you give him another layer to his personality.

the second he notices you speaking, all his attention is on you. it doesn’t matter who is talking to him beforehand, he will literally say “be quiet, please, my girlfriend is talking.” and he just stares at you like you hung the moon and stars in the sky.

you talking about your interests and whatever you’re hyper-fixated on…is 100% a turn on for him, seeing you in such a passionate state fills him with so much love and adoration that he can’t help but what to shower you with affection.

however if you’re talking about something negative or upsetting, especially if it’s about yourself, it’s the only time he will shush you, usually by kissing you and jokingly telling you to shut up because he can’t stand to hear you be so hard on yourself.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Summer BuckTommy. Going to the beach together. Maybe making the most structurally sound sandcastle as Buck infodumps about architecture. Hanging out on the peer. Buck teaching Tommy how to surf. Maybe going to Joshua Tree to camp. Hiking. Looking up at the stars. Buck talking about camping at parks in between jobs on his cross country road trip to find himself. Buck teaching Tommy the constellations. Maybe Tommy talking about looking up at the night sky while he was on tour. Tommy talking about his own made up constellations. Muay Thai lessons with the garage door open. Book club with only the two of them and the books are all about the history of cars and how to assemble and disassemble them. Flirting at harbor station before flying lessons. Lasagna nights. Helping Bobby during a barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s rebuilt home. Buck and Tommy playfully arguing about grilling methods before Bobby steps in and they watch and take notes on Bobby’s technique. Going to Disneyland with Eddie and Christopher. Arguing about the better Star Wars films. Taking Jee-Yun to the local YMCA for Chimney and Maddie to bring her to swimming lessons. Hanging out with Chimney and Maddie in their backyard, making s’mores with Jee and Chris and Eddie and Denny and Mara and Karen and Hen too. Double dates with Hen and Karen. Karaoke with Chimney and Maddie. Summer-Themed Trivia nights together. Kissing under the soft light a summer sunset. Summer BuckTommy.